Insomnia and Root Canals

by Bella Rum

My usual attack of insomnia announced itself about an hour ago. I finally gave up and came over here to the computer after lying there for a half hour of tossing and turning, alternately hugging and punching my boyfriend (I sleep with a hugging pillow that I call it my boyfriend.). The Husband doesn’t seem to be jealous. He just lies there snoring, sputtering and twitching, seemingly content for my attentions to be directed to my boyfriend instead of him.

I admit it. I am a disgusting shade of green; so envious am I of the fact that he can sleep through anything. Not only can he sleep through sharp, penetrating noises, he also has an uncanny talent for being able to fall asleep under any conditions.

I once went to a dentist, which is a mortal fear of mine. As soon as the guy had me on my back, feet pointing at the ceiling, mouth open, tools in orifice (oops, this is conjuring an image I did not intend), he asked, “Is your husband as laid back as he seems, or is he working on a heart attack?” An odd question I thought, coming from a dentist and all, I mean, not a Cardiologist or even a GP. I said, “Well, he’s pretty laid back. Do you mean anything in particular?” He said, “It’s just that I’ve never, in all my years of practice, had anyone fall asleep during a root canal?”

So, it doesn’t just annoy me that he can sleep through a tornado, but a root canal? I mean sleeping through a tornado is not all that useful, but sleeping through a root canal… that’s a talent I can appreciate. Serious talent.

Do you have a special talent?

I’m going back to bed. My boyfriend waits for me.