Another Sleepless Night

by Bella Rum

I very nearly slept in the spare bedroom last night.

It’s not enough to have to listen to The Husband’s snoring, or endure his repetitive twitching which drives me nearly to hysteria, but his latest trick has put me over the edge. I’m a saint, I tell you.

I fight to stay awake every night. No matter what I do I can’t seem to make it past 9, and that’s on a good night. Last night was no different.

When The Husband comes to bed he never fails to bump into the bed before he gets in, causing the mattress to shake with the seismic energy of a 6.8 quake. I’m a horrible sleeper. Horrible. This eruption wakes me. This shouldn’t be the end of the world, but I can’t go back to sleep for hours. Between Dad watching reruns of The Andy Griffith Show (all night long) with the volume loud enough for a deaf person to hear, and The Husband shaking the bed every night, it’s almost impossible for me to get a good nights sleep. I’m fairly certain they conspire. When I find proof you’ll be the first to know.

I would pay good money for 7 straight hours of that wonderful, refreshing, deep sleep – that kind of sleep you used to get in the back seat of your Dad’s old sedan. After your parents had spent the evening playing canasta with friends, your dad would lift you off of a sofa where you had fallen asleep after wearing yourself out playing Mr. Potato Head. You would never even wake. As your head was gently lolling on his shoulder, he would carefully place you on the back seat, and you would magically wake up in your very own bed the next morning, never knowing how you got there.

That’s the kind of sleep I’m talking about – the kind where someone could actually lift me up and place me somewhere else and I wouldn’t even know it – that sweet and deep sleep that can only be had by children.

Was it George Bernard Shaw who said, “Youth is wasted on the young.” Well, I think sleep is wasted on the young and I also think it’s a crime how The Husband takes for granted his ability to sleep like a baby.

Just a tad bit cranky this morning.

Maybe another cup of coffee will help.