Who’s The Pretty Blond

by Bella Rum

Veronica Lake

I have to write things down because I forget. I try to keep a pad of paper nearby. Before going to bed last night, I wrote two things on it – Goodwill and Firefox. I know this because I’m looking at it now. You would think that writing it down would spark my memory. You would think.

I quickly wrote the post about Firefox before going to bed, but decided to wait till this morning to write about Goodwill. Now I’m clueless. I believe a comment on the post about the room for the grandkids sparked it, but it’s gone now, left to wander around in the ether that used to be my brain. You see, it’s there, I just can’t access it. This is what short-term memory loss is all about, and it’s frustrating as hell. H is almost as bad.

We were watching television last night. A beautiful young woman appeared on-screen and this pathetic excuse for a conversation ensued.

Bella ~ Oh, oh. She looks like, um, like, um.

H~ Yeah.

Bella ~ Um, her hair reminds me of uh. Not Marilyn. The other one.

H ~ Yeah.

Bella ~ All long and smooth and a little wavy.

H ~ Yeah.

Bella ~ Jane Mansfield?

H ~ No… She was a brunette but hot.

Bella ~ No, she was a platinum blond. Jane Russell was the brunette.

H ~ They were both smokin’, but Jane Russell was kind of rough around the edges.

Bella ~ She looks like Jessica Rabbit…the hair I mean. Smooth and wavy.

H ~ Who? Oh, that cartoon.

Bella ~ Well not Jessica Rabbit but the one Jessica Rabbit looked like.

H ~ Who?

Bella ~ Lake…um…Lake…Jessica Lake?

H ~ Who?

Bella ~ Um… Lake…Oh, Veronica Lake. Her hair was all smooth and wavy at the same time. Her hair looks just like Veronica Lake’s.

H ~ Remember the one in that movie we saw in Myrtle Beach in the early 70s. On an Island. They were diving. All she wore was a t-shirt and the bottoms to her bathing suit. Then when she got wet…

Bella ~ Yeah. Jacqueline Bisset in the The Deep. There was a big uproar about it, and she said she didn’t realize how it looked. Nowadays no one would even blink

H ~ Nobody would even notice. Nothing is left to the imagination.

Bella ~ Her hair looks like…um…oh…in some movie…. I can’t remember…. the pretty blond who was married to Alec Balwin?

H ~ Yeah. The nervous one who shakes through every interview. What’s her name?

Bella ~ Um…

Silence as we sit in the quiet and think and think and think….

Bella ~ Her last name is pronounced incorrectly all the time.

H ~ Yeah. I almost have it.

Bella ~ Should we look on the internet?

H ~ No, we can remember it ourselves.

Bella ~ I know.

H ~ It’s just too damned easy to go look on the internet.

Bella ~ I know. Um, that last name. Always pronounced incorrectly.

H ~ I can see her. She’s pretty, fragile. I couldn’t believe Alec Baldwin and Billy Joel both dumped her.

Bella ~ No…No…She wasn’t married to Billy Joel.

H ~ Yeah.

Bella ~ No.

H ~ No?

Bella ~ No. That was the model with the apple cheeks….Cheryl….something.

H ~ No.

Bella ~ Yes….um….NO….NO.

H ~ No?

Bella ~ Not Cheryl…um…Christy….Christie Brinkley. She was married to Billy Joel and then that creep.

H ~ Shit…I’ve been thinking of the wrong one.  Okay…I know who you’re talking about though….The one who shakes in interviews….married Alec Baldwin?

Bella ~ Yeah. That’s the one. They pronounce her name wrong all the time.

H ~ You already said that about ten times.

Bella ~ Want to look it up?

H ~ Yeah!

Bella ~ Bet I can find it first.

I did, and it was Kim Basinger.


Bella ~ You think I can remember this conversation tomorrow so I can put it on the blog?

H ~ Puh!

When we first met, we both had a brain. Eventually our brains shrunk, but it was okay because between the two of us we still had one brain. Now, if we want a whole brain, we’re going to have to consider bringing a third person into the marriage….maybe a caregiver.

…and excuse me, but Jane Mansfield was a blond. You all knew that, right?