I affirm…

by Bella Rum

I had every intention of doing a bonafide New Year’s post this morning – affirmations and all – but I was too tired. Don’t feel sorry for me. I just woke from a two-hour nap. It was delicious, but I’m still tired. I’m stunned that I didn’t get sick this week. I was surrounded by sick people, but neither H nor I caught anything – even with all the wet and virus-ee kisses from ailing grandchildren.

We had Christmas on the run by 10:00 a.m. this morning. Almost all the inside decorations were down and packed and some of the outside ones were down. They’re all up in the attic now. (swish, swish…dusting of hands motion here) Not a trace remains.

Our little immediate family has made a pact to cut Christmas down to size next year. I believe that it will actually happen this time because H and my daughter-in-law both want it that way. My daughter-in-law is from a culture that doesn’t celebrate Christmas. Though she has embraced some aspects of it, I think it’s still a bit overwhelming for her. All the naked consumption and gift giving is a bit daunting for her, and H has been ready to slash and burn the purchasing part of Christmas for a long time. I’m right there with them now. I have some ideas about how I’d like to do this (in a meaningful way, of course), but I’ll wait till later in the year to spring my plan on all of them, because we know how well my plans always go.

My son called last night and told me he was concerned about me. I’m very aware of how I looked the day after our all-niter in the emergency room. I believe it was a shock to him. I can recall the first time I looked at one of my parents and realized the hands on the clock had ticked away their youth. My bed head and swollen eyes alone were enough to frighten small children the day after Dad made his second trip to emergency in an ambulance. I’m simply too old for 9×10 glossies after a night without sleep. I assured him that after a few quiet days and nights, I’d be back to my usual borderline ten-years-older-than-I-am beauty.

I spent the first part of this day in my jammies. After the decoration removal detail, I showered and donned soft sweats… minus a bra. (not a pretty picture but feels so… um… loose) The black eye peas (for luck) are on the stove, the Caesar salad only needs a light toss, and I’m already sipping the wine.

These are a few things I’d like to write on my blank slate on this New Year’s Day.

  1. Take better care of ME! (Always at the top of my list, but I never quite manage it the way I imagine it.)
  2. Get checked out by a few specialists (mainly my eyes)
  3. Really, really try to stay calm and centered when everything goes awry (hysterical laughter here!)
  4. Lighten up! (self-explanatory)

I realize that numbers one and two are essentially the same thing, as are three and four, but offering only two resolutions would make me seem like an unenlightened person; only two insights seemed paltry. I didn’t want to start the year in a stingy way.

I’ve thoroughly enjoyed reading some of your blogs for years, and this year I’ve found even more of the most wonderful places to visit in this huge blogosphere. It’s still amazing to me how we find each other, reach out, and truly connect. How can this be? It was such a huge part of my life while I was housebound with Dad, and it remains the same. Even with a full and busy life, I still find this connection fulfilling in a way that is difficult to explain to those who don’t blog. Even my husband reads the comments here and is touched by the support and wisdom and concern that is freely offered. I hope everyone reading this will receive the boon of good health, the comfort of peace of mind, the fullness of love, and the security of abundance in the coming year. Happy new year, friends!