minutia

by Bella Rum

Those folks who are in the weather predicting business are predicting 100 percent chance of three to five inches of snow tomorrow morning, turning to a mix of snow and freezing rain in the afternoon. I immediately called to reschedule my hair appointment because I’m a girl who has her priorities straight. We are real wimps down here. I know they’ll close tomorrow if it gets ‘bad’. They may as well. Half their customers will reschedule – especially the little, old ladies. I did.

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I made a pot of soup this morning. Is anything more comforting than a big pot of soup on a snowy day? And if the power goes off, we’ll get our Coleman stove out. I feel so independent. That’s a joke. I’m part of an extremely (by today’s standards) independent family. There are more than a few libertarians in the batch; they can take care of themselves and don’t appreciate too much interference from the guvment. They have all their teeth and can read and even count; they just value their independence more than the average Joe. When all hell breaks loose, the neighbors show up at their houses for sustenance and showers and warmth, and they find it there. The generators are going, the fire is burning and the coffee smells just like it taste – delicious.  Most of us are remarkably dependent on pushing buttons and turning faucets. I’m one of those, but my family can grow it, catch it, preserve it and serve it up when the world grows unfriendly and cold, and they always share. I admire that. I’m at the mercy of time and waiting for the guvment to get things running again.

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I went to the dentist. She gave me a script for Valium, and we set an appointment. She told me to take one and a half Valiums before I left home and not to forget to bring the bottle should I need more. *Insert hysterical laughter here.* She could tell I was on the edge. Maybe because my head was making those uncontrollable jerking movements as I repeated about fifteen times that I was terrified, but I think she already knew when she saw the whites of my eyes were visible all the way around. The hyperventilating and hand over the heart was a bit of a give away, too.

In my mind, I’d already decided that I had gum disease and would need surgery that would cause uncontrollable bleeding, and bone deterioration that would soon lead to my teeth falling out… one at a time. I envisioned waking in the morning and finding a tooth here and tooth there, going into the bathroom, looking in the mirror and seeing gaps in my smile. For crying out loud, there are people with real problems in the world. Only crazy people invent this stuff.

She said the Valium makes the anesthetic more effective. I asked her if that was true, or would it only remove my inhibitions. She swore it was true. I’m skeptical. The Brother said it would just make me too placid and uncoordinated to pull the drill out of my mouth and bop her in the head with it. He’s a hoot, that one.

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My sleep study results were great – no sleep apnea.

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Is it just me or is this blog becoming a list of my health issues? Don’t answer that. I’m going to have to create another category: neurosis, phobias, psychosis, hypochondria

All is well on the Western Front at this hour. I’ll keep you posted. You have no choice. You’re part of my life… like it or not.

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