The Thermostat

by Bella Rum

From that title, I’m sure you can deduce what the problem was with our air conditioner. Larry, the A/C guy, arrived around four o’clock Friday afternoon and didn’t leave until seven. When he wasn’t giving me his political views, he was standing there with a blow torch (until he asked for my hairdryer) melting the ice. It was a solid block of ice inside. It would have taken days to thaw. Even when the thermostat was in the off position, the outside unit was running constantly.

Larry charged us over $300. for his expert ice-melting technique. I guess that also included his time and handsome countenance, because he said he would only have to charge us another $125. to actually replace the thermostat, or $225. for a fancy schmancy programmable one.

To be fair, I acknowledge that we paid him for his expertise, not only his time. However, you must admit, his time was extremely valuable. Just saying. Oh, and it was $90. for him to drive over to my house. What? Don’t you think that’s understandable… what with the price of gas and all?

The piercing political analysis was free.

Now you know I wanted the fancy schmancy thermostat because they save energy and they’re so convenient. And fun. Let’s not forget fun. I could use some balloons and party horns in my life at the moment.

I love getting the house cool before bed and having the temperature rise before I put my size nines on the floor in the morning. This from a girl who grew up in a house that was so cold in the winter her pet birds froze to death one night. Who knew from a thermostat back then? Not me. Color me spoiled now, though.

But those programmable ones really do save energy. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. So H went up to Home Depot and bought a lovely little jobbie that will answer all my temperature control dreams for $68. He installed it in about ten minutes. *sigh*

I don’t know where Larry is now, but I betcha he’s borrowing some woman’s hairdryer this very minute. I should have given him one of my Bed Bath & Beyond coupons to get his very own.