Water, water, everywhere…

by Bella Rum

Looks like a friendly place, doesn’t it?

You won’t believe what’s going on around here. I’d like to write about something inspiring, but it would take time away from my whining.  You understand. There’s only so  much time in the day.

We got estimates on the water damage from the air conditioner overflow issue.

This house is only 14 years old and everything is falling apart and everything in it is ailing too – everything from the fridge to its aging owners. Is it just me or shouldn’t a house last longer than fourteen years? We are SICK and TIRED of house maintenance, and we’re not going to take it anymore. It’s a lovely house, really, but it is too much for us. It needs a young family with kids and a dog and a mommy and daddy… with deep pockets.

I’m not sure I can list all the repairs on house and appliances over the past eighteen months. I would need a computer. Oh, I have a computer. But you don’t have the time. I know you’re busy. One thing I can attest to, we are BIG on maintaining everything. We are not of Miss Havisham’s ilk. If it’s ailing, we fix it. So this sweet little property will be in tip top shape when it goes on the market. Wanna buy it?

Okay, this is the latest. Malvern the water damage expert arrived yesterday. Malvern is an elderly man. You know if I say he’s elderly, he’s elderly. So I immediately had compassion for him, but… It was really hard to get him to focus. And he was very Southern… which I have no problem with. I’m Southern, too. But he talked sooo sloow. By the time he finished a sentence, I was nodding off. Poor guy.

Then he informed us that he couldn’t go in the crawlspace because of his bad knees. His bad knees are not Malvern’s fault, but why did they send someone who could not check out the problem? They were aware that a crawlspace was involved. You’d have to be blind not to see that Malvern’s crawlspace days have been behind him since 1989.

He pulled out a fancy magic meter, and here I was expecting a divining rod. He pushed a button and ran it over the hardwood floors. Then he grumbled with a worried expression. NO GRUMBLING!! Grumbling means lots of money. Then he talked about moisture and mold and dehumidifiers and strong fungicides or biocides or some kind of cides and ripping up hardwood floors and insurance carriers and air movers. Air movers? Did he say air movers? What the heck is an air mover, Malvern? Just as I suspected, it’s a fan. I guess air mover sounds more official and expensive and like something an ordinary homeowner would never have.

Bottom line. We got two estimates yesterday and another guy will come on Wednesday, but it looks like the cost of ripping up the floors, drying out the moisture and killing any chance of mold growth will be at least $1500. That’s if they don’t find moisture on the bottom of the walls when they rip the baseboard off. Oh, I didn’t mention the walls? And that $1500 does not cover replacing the hardwoods. No siree. You didn’t think that did you?

And how long will all this take? Three days. You know how much I’ll love that.

I might call my next blog Condo Chronicles. Catchy, huh?

Next we have to get an estimate on replacing the hardwoods and find someone to take care of our roof leak. Our homeowner’s policy ($500 deductible) should pay for the water damage, mold control and floors, but I guess we’ll pay for the roof issue. Hopefully it isn’t too extensive. I know termites are next. When things get very quiet, I can hear them in the walls… munching, munching, munching… Shhhh. There they go again.