The Return of Kevin The Great

by Bella Rum

appliance_repair_dudeSome of you may remember Kevin the Refrigerator Repair Man. I’ve written about Kevin several times, so cute is he and so often do we need his services. I keep trying to get him to take the guest room.

We required his services again yesterday. I’m kind of raising Kevin. I give him unsolicited advice about college, career and love. He’s so smart and personable, and don’t forget, easy to look at. I’m sure he could rule the world if he weren’t so busy repairing my fridge.

The last time Kevin was here, he advised – warned, cautioned, begged – us to keep our maintenance contract up to date. He practically told us that our refrigerator was junk and that nowadays most fridges are junk. I believe him because we’ve only been in this house ten years and this is our second refrigerator. The first one caught fire while we were living with Dad. We’ve only had this one a little over four years. We rarely buy the coverage for appliances, but not being complete fools and respecting Kevin’s role as refrigerator guru of our lives, H watched diligently for the reminder to arrive in the mail. That check was in the return mail the next day.

So, Kevin says our poor, dumb refrigerator has bitten the dust, pooped the bed, gone to the big kitchen in the sky. It will soon be coming to a landfill near you. Honestly. Where do all these crappy fridges go when they’ve fulfilled the job of keeping our pork roasts from spoiling and our milk from curdling? This planned obsolescence is a sad truth of modern times. My first fridge lasted over twenty years.

So guess what? You’re not going to believe it. Kevin called “in” and told “them” our refrigerator was beyond repair. It was cracked somewhere where cracks are bad. Very bad. It could not be repaired. Nope. Impossible. Can you believe it? We are getting a NEW and FREE refrigerator. I feel like Drew Carey just shouted, “Come on down.”

I could kiss Kevin for advising us to keep our maintenance agreement current, but that would be a little scary for him so I will simply tell the internet of his genius. If he would move in, I would pay for his college and leave him half of my money when I poop the bed. Thank you, Kevin!