anchorless

by Bella Rum

IMG_4055Butterflies float aimlessly over my SIL’s zinnia garden at Dad’s.

I’m still sleeping through the night sans nightmares and screaming… except for that one brief dream in which H left me and refused to look at me while I begged for forgiveness. Nothing like a woman with self-respect.

I’ve done little more than make like a slug all week. Putting around the house aimlessly, I poke at small tasks and then relax for a while as if exhausted by my efforts to solve world peace. I did put some things away because the kitchen and dining room were uninhabitable. The washer and dryer are running now, but I think H tossed the clothes in. I know he did, but it feels very much as if I’m doing something constructive.

The anxiety is gone, but the blues have come for a visit. I know they will fade with a little time. I feel like an unmoored vessel, floating without purpose or destination, unable or unwilling to decide anything more impactful than whether to wear stay-at-home socks or slippers. I need a shower and will get one shortly.

You can call off the intervention. I did get my hair cut. When a girl doesn’t get her hair cut in a reasonable amount of time, you know there’s a serious problem. By the time I walked through the salon door, there were several local Sasquatch sightings.

One more thing…

I feel like I’ve become an unwitting, unlikely and reluctant barker for Comcast. That’s me standing there in front of the tent and promising bearded ladies, two-headed snakes and Comcast magic tricks.

I direct you to this post about Comcast where I wrote about getting more premium channels for less money. We decided we wanted another DVR. H went to Comcast Friday to get it. They decreased our bill again. That’s right. They said it was an upgrade that put us in a different package/promotion, and the price was $8 less. Color me befuddled. It’s all above my pretty little head.

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