Can We Talk

by Bella Rum

password-word-cloudI had the same passwords for about a hundred years. As I’ve mentioned before: one for purchasing online, one for financial stuff, one for blogging, one for emails and one for something else… oh, yeah, social media. I knew all of them and never had a problem remembering them. It was the golden age of cognitive clarity and password heaven. There weren’t so many little snits going around taking pleasure in making others miserable.

Then that awful worm came slithering along a few months ago, and along with you and everybody else in cyberspace, I had to change my passwords. Fine. I did it. And I gradually managed to remember them. Now, for some reason, I’m having issues with passwords again. I had a problem with my email last week. I don’t know if it was hacked or… Well, I guess it was hacked. It sent out an obnoxious email to a lot of people in my address book that had a link to a nasty site that wouldn’t allow you to exit. So, that was that. I had to change my password.

Then…

This morning, when I tried to log into my blog, I was locked out. I had to wait for a text and reset my password. What do you think are the chances I’ll still remember it tomorrow? How often do I have to change these things? I changed my email password less than a month ago.

I’m considering one of the password managers. I’ve read about 1Password (thanks Awkward Widow). My son mentioned that I should get a password manager a few weeks ago. Every time I turn around, I’m forced to change my password, and with ever-growing security breaches, I’m about to fall prostrate on the floor and scream, “I surrender.” (Unrelated, but we were one of those who used their Home Depot credit card less than six months ago.)

I read that five years from now we will probably no longer use passwords to access our ATMs and PCs. We’ll look into a camera or speak into a microphone. Because our eyes and voices are unique, it will be safer. Sign me up, Buttercup. But not so fast. I wonder if it will work for people who have an eye disease  in which the blood vessels leak or burst, like Macular Degeneration. Your eye is constantly changing in that situation. Hmm. Or if you have a cold. I guess there would be a fallback solution. Um. Would that be a PASSWORD?

Yesterday:

We went on a purging rampage. I wanted to clean out the family room. There were some things that I wanted H to take up to the attic and a couple of things that needed to go to Goodwill, but I had no idea how much. We got rid of an old stereo and that insanely gigantic and massively heavy, ancient television. Look at me calling it all kinds of bad names when you know I was just fine with it only a couple of weeks ago, until I threw it over for a newer, sleeker model. Shallow be my name. We went through the toy box and tossed a few things and donated a few, and there were tons of old magazines. Oh, Lordy, there were magazines. We are crazy people when it comes to our magazines. We should start getting them online.

Then I went into the dining room and opened the sideboard. I gave all my good china to a friend’s son when he got married last year. That did my heart good, but I still had tons of serving dishes. I thought about selling them, but I was in the purging mood and couldn’t stop myself. They all went to Goodwill. As I write this, some woman is telling her sister about what a steal she got on a beautiful casserole dish at Goodwill. That’s fine with me. My days of formal entertaining are long gone, and good riddance.

By the way, my son just called. I said, “Who is this? Your voice sounds familiar.” He said, “I’m the bad son.” 🙂 Then we talked about what a lot of people are talking about: war, abusive NFL players, password managers and Sarah Palin’s family brawl, because who doesn’t love a good, old-fashioned brawl when it isn’t your family? At least you see the punch coming, unlike these slithering boobs who sneak in the backdoor to crack an old woman’s password while she’s taking her acid reflux meds.

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