Water in the Canal

by Bella Rum

Yesterday, I went to the doctor. Wow, that turned out the way every visit should. I arrived a few minutes early, and waited about three minutes before they took me back to the examining room. I didn’t even wait a minute in there. The nurse got all my information and my vitals, and the doctor came in and proceeded. The nurse returned and gave me my flu shot, thank-you-very-much, and whoosh, I was out of there and on my way home. The whole thing – from the time I left my garage till I pulled in again – took one hour. I even got a great parking space. Everything went my way. I should have bought a lottery ticket.

The first thing the receptionist asked was, “Have you traveled outside the United States recently?” Does South Carolina count? When I returned home, I received a call from someone who set up a mammogram appointment for me. Her first question: “Have you traveled outside the U.S. recently?” I guess they’re all on the detail.

how-ear-worksThe doctor told me to get Flonase (nasal spray) and plain old Zyrtec (an antihistamine) without the D (decongestant) – both OTC – for the earache. I knew that’s what she would do, but I wasn’t sure what was compatible with all my other meds, and then there’s the A-Fib to consider. Can’t forget that. I can’t take anything with the D (decongestant). The antihistamine should help with any swelling or inflammation, which should help to open the canal and allow the water to escape.

Something tells me that just about now you’re thrilled you dropped in for a detailed medical report. I have to get a life, do something interesting… maybe an affair with the thirty-something down the street or a second-story job. I think I’ve mentioned the second-story fantasy before. The outfit alone would be worth writing about: all black, skin-tight, hair pulled back in a pony tail, black smudges under the eyes, soft bag over the shoulder for the stolen jewels. Nothing could be more fun than seeing the inside of strangers’ homes when they’re not there.

But, alas, my day will entail laundry and a trip to BJ’s. They sent us a temporary membership – good till Dec.31 – so we thought we’d check them out, and maybe lunch at Panera Bread after. They’re offering a seasonal turkey/cranberry/flatbread sort of thing, paired with squash soup. I still love their creamy tomato soup, paired with the fuji apple salad. I do not like Applebee’s. Do you? Everything taste the same there. I think they have a bucket of seasoning mix they throw on everything that comes out of that kitchen.

Okay, that’s enough babbling. I’ll let  you off the hook now. Have a great day, everybody! Maybe I’ll be wild and choose the squash soup. It isn’t second-story work, but it’ll have to do.