No Snow, No Sleep, No Counting Sheep

by Bella Rum

Yesterday, I suddenly realized that Christmas was long gone, but my Christmas header was still up there. I changed it to my usual winter one, the view from my bedroom window. We’re only a few weeks from Valentine’s Day, and I haven’t undressed the dog. He’s still sporting his Christmas duds. All the other decorations are packed away, but not the dog. Methinks he needs a new outfit for Valentine’s Day.

I’m writing this at 3:00 am. The insomnia monster reared its ugly head again. I told H that sleeping is a job for me. I work so hard at it.

It’s been rainy, dark and cold the past couple of days, and we’re supposed to wake to snow. I don’t think it will amount too much, but I haven’t even checked the weather. Okay, I checked. Still calling for snow but not more than an inch. Ha! Trying to get snow in these parts is like trying to get sleep, it ain’t gonna happen. I just went downstairs and checked outside. Nothing is falling, but it’s colder than blue blazes out there. Wait a minute. Aren’t the blue blazes the hottest ones?

The sun finally had the courage to appear about 3:30 yesterday, and we had such a pretty sunset. It looked like a big, glowing peach as it slid down behind the trees. After two dark days, it was nice to see that it was still there.

What about Lilian Lepère, that French fellow who hid for eight hours in a 3-by-2-foot cabinet underneath the sink in the company’s lunchroom while the terrorists traipsed around the room? I almost had a panic attack listening to him. Just writing this makes my lungs quiver. And what about that former Dolphins player Robert Konrad? Falls off a boat and swims nine miles before he reaches land.. I know nothing about football. When they said Robert Konrad, I thought they meant Robert Conrad of The Wild Wild West and that Eveready battery commercial where he puts the battery on his shoulder, turns to the camera and says, “I dare you to knock this off.” If you’re younger than fifty, you probably don’t remember.

But my point is… Oh, you didn’t know I had a point? Well, I do. What would you do to stay alive? What could you do to stay alive? Would you rather stay in an extremely confined space like Lilian Lepère or try to swim for nine miles through shark infested waters like Robert Konrad? I could read for eight hours (I mean listen to audible books) or crochet for eight hours or decorate a room on a budget in eight hours or let someone roll me around in a grocery cart for nine miles. Okay, maybe not that last one.

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