Wherein Sassy Steals My Man

by Bella Rum

We’re having a heatwave. It was 10 degrees yesterday morning and 12 today. I’m walking in my bedroom with my Leslie Sansone DVD. March is coming and by the end it will be lamb-ish. I promise. But I’m not reliable.

So I’ve slept better recently. Did you ever expect to read that here? No? Well, I never expected to write it. Miracles do happen. It’s probably a phase, but I’ll take it. I did wake early this morning, but that hasn’t happened for weeks. I’ve been sleeping till anywhere between 5:00 and 6:30. Since, on average, I usually fall asleep around 10:00, well, you can do the math. Not bad, I’d say.

Last night, I did have a dream that I remember, but first, a little background. There were three sisters who helped with Dad’s care over the years. They were all good with Dad. Two of them loved him to death, but all of them had little quirks. One more so than the others. The oddest was their attraction to my husband… if you can call that a quirk. Well, at least two of them were swoon-ers. One was single – never been married – and one was married, unhappily I presume. One of them had the nerve to tell me that her sister said, “If Bella ever dies, I’m going for H.” And she was the married one! You cannot make this stuff up. I told H, “Maybe if you marry her, the two of you can move in with Dad.” He was not amused.

Okay. The dream.

I dreamed that I lived in the same neighborhood as one of the sisters, Cindy. Cindy’s younger sister, Sassy, (a fourth sister that I’ve never seen or heard about in real life, a figment) lived with Cindy for awhile and was now moving out. I went by to say goodbye and to gather some things that I had loaned Sassy while she was staying there. When I told Cindy why I was there, she said she had something to tell me, “H and Sassy had an affair.”

I was all Zen about it, not disturbed one bit. H appeared in the dream, and he felt no need to give an explanation, and I didn’t ask for one. Sassy had one of those huge, old computers that I’d loaned her. I let her keep it, but I grabbed up three ratty, old stuffed bears. I actually tried to give Sassy a goodbye hug, but she was stiff as a splintered board and refused to hug me back. What? Who’s the injured party here?

This must indicate that I cannot set boundaries, or there would have been a funeral scene in the dream… or two.

Yesterday, we made reservations for our vacation. It should be nice and warm by May. Right? I’m off to the grocery store today. Maybe a pork tenderloin to stuff with something good. Last night, I butterflied (actually not butterflied, I just sliced mine three times, but will definitely try butterflying next time) a couple of chicken breasts and pounded the heck out of them to make cutlets, and sautéed them with a little lemon, salt and pepper. Simple, fast and pretty good. I promise this will be my last chicken video……………. for a while.