The Twins

by Bella Rum

twinsOur Realtor is a twin. We’ve worked mostly with Marlene. She was the one who showed houses to us, but we’ve met with Darlene a couple of times. Yesterday, they both met with us at our house to take photos, look at comparable pending/for sale/sold properties in our community, and sign the contract.

When only hearing their voices, it’s difficult to discern one from the other. They have similar coloring, faces and general appearances, but I think a lot of that is enhanced by makeup, fashion and hair. They dress alike, not identically, but the exact same style. They are petite with trim bodies, in their fifties, and I’m sure they have some of the exact clothing and colors in their closets. I bet a quick phone call in the morning is the only thing that keeps them from becoming the stereotypical identically dressed twins. “I’m wearing the blue jacket, you wear the pink.”

Though similar in personalities, appearance and proclivities, Marlene’s edges are sharper than Darlene’s. Similarly, Marlene’s boundaries are well-defined. She’s wrapped tighter, laser focused, eye always on the ball, never late and always prepared for any eventuality. Darlene is all of those things, too, but in slightly smaller doses.  They both have blond hair (Marlene’s a little lighter/brighter) that has been removed directly from the curling iron and sprayed within an inch of its life with hairspray (I asked) so that it sticks up. Marlene’s is always stiffened to perfection. She could spear small children with that hair. Darlene’s is slightly softer in color and stiffness but similar.

They dress professionally, wearing colorful, short jackets, always with well-fitted, expensive black pants. They are extremely neat in their appearance; Marlene’s a little neater, a little slimmer, a little more perfect. They both get mannies and peddies on a regular basis, French tipped fingers and toes, filed straight across and fairly short. Long nails might interfere with counting their money.

They wear colorful, feminine jewelry that matches their outfits. Yesterday, Darlene wore a pink jacket with matching pink flower earrings and necklace. They both wear the same expensive watch, and identical sapphire rings, surrounded with diamonds. When I commented on the rings, stretching out their hands for my inspection, they were quick to tell me that they were not identical at all, that they didn’t even get them at the same place or the same time. Whatever you say, ladies.

It was funny to see them interacting. They are both neat freaks who pay an inordinate amount of attention to detail. This is good for business, but difficult to live with, I imagine. Marlene is the bossiest, checking everything behind Darlene and pointing out any discrepancies, and she did not like it when Darlene told us anything that would lead us to make a decision other than the one Marlene wanted us to make. Darlene, while as anal as Marlene, is a softer person internally.

Marlene must have corrected/disagreed/directed Darlene at least four or five times while they were here. Darlene pushed back a little, but you could tell that this pattern had existed from birth, and she was fighting an uphill battle.

These two anal retentives were pretty wowed by the house. They’ve both been here before, but I guess it looked fairly average with our regular-life stuff all over the place, but it cleans up pretty. They decided we should put it on the market for $10K more than they originally thought. It’s spring; sales have picked up and so have prices. I’m glad because H and I had decided to tell them that we should push the price up a little. Now I think it’s priced right. I hope so because I don’t want it to languish on the market. There’s a fine line between enough and too much. We need to sell it and move on.

Open house on Sunday.