My Vast Experience with Horses

by Bella Rum

IMG_0042Look who came for coffee!

I didn’t grow up with horses, although Dad did go off the rails one time and bought a horse from someone for a hundred dollars. He was impulsive like that occasionally. He built a fence around our very large backyard. I was not a horse girl, and I don’t even remember his name, but my cousin and another girl in the neighborhood liked him. The only interaction I ever had with him was when I tried to pet him and he took a tiny morsel out of my upper, inner arm. I’m sure he sensed my ambivalence. After that I gave him a wide berth. We kept him until someone, who remains anonymous to this day, complained. The “authorities” came to the house, and told Dad he had a week to get rid of him. I swear that it wasn’t me.

My only other experience with a horse, besides going to the races with Aunt Kay, was when I rode a neighborhood kid’s horse through the woods. I had no idea what I was doing. He knew that he could dow whatever he wished, and took off at a brisk gallop (or what I thought was a brisk gallop) through the woods. I saw a tree directly in front of us, and it was coming fast. In terror, I closed my eyes and leaned in what I believed to be the opposite direction of the tree, but I guess the horse changed directions because that tree smacked me with enough force to knock my behind off that horse. When I hit the ground, it knocked the breath clean out of me. While I may have been stupid about horses, I was smart enough to know that I could go the rest of my life without interacting with another one.

It’s a little ironic that I find myself living on the edge of a horse pasture.

So now I can admire their beauty while keeping a fence between. I’m still a little nervous about petting them. These horses seem very gentle and accustomed to people, but I can’t forget that placing your hand on the bridge of their noses leaves the soft flesh of your underarm exposed. Such a tasty treat, and sometimes irresistible.

A few mornings ago, it was cool, and there was a freshness in the air that you don’t usually get during the dog days. The temperature was in the sixties, and they were frisky. They pranced and galloped and played. They were full of themselves. So pretty.

I’m off to the farmer’s market this afternoon and Home Depot because they haven’t gotten enough of my money yet. They go into withdrawal if I don’t give them their drug of choice at least once a week.

Did anyone watch the debates? I fell asleep and woke around 2:00 am. They were rerunning it. I guess once just wasn’t enough. I saw the little brouhaha between Megyn spell-it-with-a-y Kelly and The Trumpster. You just can’t make this stuff up.