Where I Almost Die

by Bella Rum

Our lawn service says we are late on a payment, but I paid it. I wrote the date that I sent it, the amount that I sent and the reference number on the bill, but it does not appear on our bank statement. However, H found it in the “receipient’s history” online. The reference# and the check# were there. It says it was processed and gave all the information on it, but our lawn service has not received it. It makes no sense. I believe the bank screwed up (duh!). Today, we will talk to the bank. Do banks talk?

I’ve made great progress on my Christmas shopping. I’ve finished for the two youngest grands. They are both easy. The youngest is easy to please and my grandson is interested in specific things. He knows what he likes.

I haven’t gotten a single thing for my oldest granddaughter. She’s nine. She’s artistic and likes crafts. I saw a porcelain painting kit. I dunno. Maybe. I also thought about one of those old-fashioned potholder looms. I found a quilted carryall: very inexpensive, cute and huge. I thought I’d fill it with crafty things: sketch books, pencils, markers and papers and such. Any suggestions?

Okay. Here’s the part where I almost die! No kidding!

I parked my car in Kroger’s parking lot. An older man in a big, old, green truck started pulling into the space beside me. I could see that he was not on the correct angle to pull in unless he stopped and backed up and straightened his truck. I thought he would do just that, but he kept coming. I got nervous. He kept coming toward my door. Closer and closer and closer… until I threw my arm out the window while holding my hand up in the universal hand sign for “STOP” but he kept coming. Closer and closer and closer… he advanced on me.  I started to scream. I swear, y’all. Really scream… like at the top of my lungs screamed… repeatedly…. STOP, STOP, STOP, STOP!!! He never even thought about stopping. He came… I’m not exaggerating… within an inch of smashing in my door. I was right on the other side of that door. I could not believe it. Then I could see that he was going to open his door right into mine. I started my, car and quickly pulled out before he could do that. Scared the bejesus right out of me.

I’ve been out of the house doing errands for several days. I’m staying home today. I think it may be another frustrating day: dealing with the bank and the lawn service, getting dental and vision insurance, and talking to someone about putting walls around what is now the dining space so we can have a private office… so my mess isn’t visible from the front door.

Another conversation with H…

He walked up behind me while I was looking at PJ’s online…

H ~ Whats that?

Me ~ It’s pajamas with a pig on the front.

H ~ No?

Me ~ Yes.

H ~ Are you sure?

Me ~ I’m not wearing anything with a pig on it.

H ~  I think it’s a short-necked giraffe.

Me ~ …