Family Maladies

by Bella Rum

I forgot to name my last two post and had to go back to do it.


My niece came for lunch yesterday. We spent the entire afternoon chatting, mostly sitting at the kitchen table after lunch. Everyone is always comfortable there. I’ve noticed that when anyone visits, they divulge more at the kitchen table than anywhere else in the house.

She brought hydrangeas to me and beer to H. She knows that my mother loved hydrangeas, and so do I. She’s such a thoughtful woman. She talked a lot about her mother, my sister. It’s striking how much pain we carry into adulthood. It would be nice if acceptance came sooner, but it comes when it comes.

My niece is thinking of moving closer to us. I would love for that to happen. Her house is on the market. Her job is not far from us. Her long commute is a killer. Finding something comparable to what she has now will not be easy, though. Houses are more expensive in this area. We’ll see. Fingers crossed.


She told me something that shocked me. After my sister and her husband (the one who plays golf with H) went back to Florida in early October, my BIL experienced pain in his leg and eventually his chest. It turned out to be a blood clot, a pretty serious thing.  Long story short, he ended up in the hospital. He’s home now. Thank goodness. Everything is okay. I didn’t have a clue. My sister never called me. I know my brother doesn’t know or he would have told me. I think I have to practice a little acceptance myself. Sometimes it actually is what it is. It’s funny, though, I thought about telling my brother that he should call my sister when he was going through all of his tests, but I knew what he would say, “There’s nothing to tell yet.” We all need therapy.

Fortune Cookie Wisdom

We ordered out last night. I got egg foo young again. It’s the only thing I order at Chinese restaurants. H’s fortune cookie cautioned, “Many a false step is made by standing still.” Boy is that true. I’m so glad we took the step to make the move to this house. Mine advised “No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings.” Is it just me, or have fortune cookie sayings gotten deeper? But they offered no ancient wisdom about how to mend relationships with an aloof sister. 😦