by Bella Rum

H put the flower beds to bed this week. He pulled up all the zinnias and stuffed them in Lilou’s bucket that usually keeps her bathtub toys. I thought they were perfect.

Life has been uneventful here on the horse farm. The days are getting shorter and the nights and mornings cooler, probably just like where you are. We close the blinds before 6:30 and turn on a couple of lamps with low-wattage lightbulbs. It always feels so comfortable in here.

The heat goes on at night. H called someone to look at the gas fireplace. We thought it might be nice to have use of it on these cool mornings. As is always true with our appliances and such, there was a faulty part. As always, the repairman did not have the part on the truck. So we wait. No problem. It isn’t necessary. Only a pleasant thing. 

I’m sixty-six years old. My mother died when I was twenty-three and I still think about her. I think about her more lately. I’m not sure why. I’ve long outlived her age. I was barely a woman when she died, and still I think about her. This tells me how much impact mothers have on their children – maybe even more on those who lose their mothers before they have a chance to know them well into adulthood. I didn’t have the time to work through my grief prior to her death like I did with Dad. She was there one day and gone the next. When you see someone slowly lose themselves, you are more ready when it ends. At least that was true for me. I suppose these things are different for each of us. 

I’m still eating healthfully. So is H. I’ve lost eighteen pounds, and I’m walking at least twenty minutes a day. I feel better. My doctor was thrilled. Okay. She was not thrilled. She was happy and congratulatory.  I’m thrilled.

I’m watching carbs but I’m not on the very low-carb diet that allows no more than 20 carbs a day or even 50. I think that’s too strict for me. I haven’t had a real dessert since I started and only two slices of bread and no pasta, but I would have them occasionally if I felt the draw. I still have a small potato now and then. I’ve fallen in love with fruit. It’s my dessert. I’m really into fruit salad. I make it with a couple of strawberries, for or five blue berries, one half of a kiwi fruit and walnuts. It is to die for. Ha! Fruit is so much sweeter when yo don’t eat rich desserts.