Obesity and a Weird Text

by Bella Rum

This is what I find every morning when I flip open my chair. A little Carolina Wren likes to hang out there at night and chow down on sunflower seeds. Maybe he’s the one who pooped on me twice this week. Good luck, don’t cha know?

Yesterday, H had his second Mohs surgery, and hopefully the last for a while. There’s a second waiting room where, after their surgery, the patients wait while the doctor checks the removed tissue to make sure she’s gotten all the basal cells. That’s where I wait for H. A half-dozen men were in there. Not a single female patient. Men are more likely to get skin cancer than women, but usually there’s at least one woman.

On the way home, H asked, “Did you notice that all those men…” I finished his sentence, “Were overweight?” He said, “Yes, they were huge.” And they were. They were all about H’s age, and they were startlingly overweight. Their legs were too large to keep them closed. Their shorts were tight, and everything was on display. H said he didn’t notice that. ๐Ÿ™‚ A couple of them couldn’t fill out their forms by holding the clipboard on their laps because they didn’t have laps. They had to lean over to the table at the end of the couch. It was awkward for them. One man was panting after taking only a couple of steps. I’ve never seen so many people struggling with obesity in one place. You would have thought we were in a bariatrician’s (healthcare provider specializing in obesity) waiting room. Obesity is an epidemic in this country.

I got a weird text last night. This entire text is his. ย I did not text back. I hit delete, but only after sharing it with you.

Messaging on this thing is a pain in the ass.

Let me tell you a few things about myself so you can decide if you want to run.

I only drink when the time calls for it. Used to drink a lot back in the day, but not really my thing anymore. I do smoke cigs, but would love to quit so just give me a reason. I do smoke weed but only at the very end of the night after my day is over. I’m self-employed HVAC and I have two big dogs that are sweet as can be so you must like big dogs.

Oh and I’m 5’9ย 1/2

F*#k wrong person.

I do like big dogs. That’s a place to start. Right?

My niece’s closing is today. We’re meeting her at the house after the closing. There will be wine and cheese to celebrate. I’m so happy for her.

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